I put up this article excerpted from Newswave in REAL PEOPLE and another article in my previous posting in this blog which made me realise the extend of 'chauvinistic' of many superiority complex Chinese parents and Malaysian Chinese in general with the near similarity that my daughter was facing for nearly 6 years in a SRJKC till I took the bold step to transfer her to a SK during the 1st term of Std 6, 10 months before her UPSR at the end of that year. Imaging the trauma, disapointment and anger of the SK school's HM to 'forcibly' accept her in the school.
And my niece commented about this after she read the articles I have shared with her;
Reading these articles reminded me of my nightmare then. Almost everyday I have to see through my eldest son finish his homework up till 12 am or 1 am. He was slow in writing Chinese, at times I have to help him with his homework so we could go to sleep before 1am. I have to wake up at 530 am, wake him at 6 am, send him to school at 630 am. Sometimes I have to take nap in my car during lunch break as I was so exhausted.
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“My Mommy Say I Cannot Friend You” My SRJK(C) School Experience As Someone Who “Wasn’t Smart Enough”
Excerpted from Newswave in REAL PEOPLE by Anonymous.
Chinese schools in Malaysia have always had the reputation of taking the top spot in discipline and education among all the primary schools. They are known for being strict, having packed schedules, giving mountains of homework, but also producing very booksmart students.
My parents wanted to send me to a Chinese primary school so that I could at least learn the basics of the language as they were both English educated. I was quite ahead of my class in kindergarten, so it didn’t seem like I would have trouble adapting to the Chinese school system. We were very wrong.
I didn’t like going to school
As an only child, I was very close to my parents and was very comfortable at home so naturally, I had a bit of trouble being away from my parents and spending a whole day in a big stoic building where everyone was speaking a language I could barely understand.
I had many days of crying at the school gates and refusing to go in, and if I made it into the school, I’d refuse to enter the classroom. Looking back now, I think I had some sort of anxiety and attachment issue, being away from my parents was immensely stressful for me. Back then however, I was just pegged as a troublesome kid who threw tantrums.
Despite all this, I did pretty well in my studies. Once you managed to get me to sit down in the classroom, I was a good student. This led me to getting good grades and being put in one of the top classes in Standard 2. This is where it really began to go downhill.
Don’t put this in my resume, but I don’t work well under pressure
Being in that class was paralysing. From the first day itself we were told that there were expectations on us and that we were meant to be the best of the crop. The teacher made it very clear that there would be no slacking or falling behind. We were 8.
As I sat in that classroom listening to all of the rules and how we were expected to perform, the pressure began to build and I felt myself shrink away in fear. I began to overthink and was very worried. It seemed like too much to handle, my anxious little 8 year old brain couldn’t take it.
The amount of homework we had was insane, and as my parents didn’t know mandarin, I struggled with it a lot. My peers breezed through it all and that made me embarrassed – I didn’t dare to ask for help from the teacher because it seemed like I was the only stupid one who couldn’t keep up.
I always got into trouble for not finishing my homework and was called out in front of the whole class for it. My grades began to drop drastically, I was the black sheep of the class.
The Tiger Mums didn’t want me near their children
The parents in my school were very controlling of their children’s lives. My classmates had strict schedules, grades they had to maintain, and in this case, peers they weren’t allowed to befriend.
I wasn’t a troublemaker. I was never rude, didn’t act out and misbehave – I just wasn’t good with schoolwork. For some reason, that translated into me being a bad influence.
It seemed that bad grades were the end of the world for some of my classmates. The day after we got our exam results back, a classmate of mine came to school with a large red hand mark on her face as her mother had slapped her for getting lower than 95 on a Science paper.
One morning when I got to my desk, I heard my deskmate’s mum tell her daughter not to sit so close to me and to not talk to me, as if I had some sort of contagious disease. The other mums gave me cold stares and whispered to their children as I walked past.
I felt excluded from games and afterschool activities, I realised that a majority of the class was avoiding me. There was even one classmate who explicitly told me,
“我妈咪讲我不可以跟你好“
(“My mommy said I cannot be friends with you”)
I had a small but precious support group
This went on for my entire primary school life, constant judgement and being outcasted. I did however have a small group of friends who were not like that. We had recess together and even joined a speech and drama class(which was in English) every week after school.
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There were a few teachers who lost their patience with me, getting very angry and scolding me in front of the whole class when I didn’t do well in my exams.
One even accused me of losing my homework book on purpose and didn’t allow me to participate in class for weeks because of it. When it turned out that he was the one who misplaced it, he returned it to me without apologising.
But there were also some really great teachers who were supportive and encouraging. I sought refuge in the counselling room where I was given a quiet space to complete my homework and receive one-on-one guidance from the teacher in charge.
It was a difficult period, but it paid off.
Although I struggled a lot in primary school, I contribute a lot of who I am as a person now to that experience of mine. The strict regime and way they taught us gave me a leg up when I eventually went to a national secondary school.
I was very good at Mathematics and the workload seemed like nothing. I was also very good with time management and juggling multiple co-curricular activities.
Though there was a lot of stress and pressure which I feel is a bit much for a young child, I look back at it fondly and appreciate the positives that I got out of it.
Would you send your kids to a Chinese school ?
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